Vitals Dec 1st -Dec 16th

Month or so in pictures in random order

Precursor to the creation of a Five-Year Plan (Trying to avoid going nuts)

Project ideas:

Hedi says a 6-panel drawn piece
I say writing
Probably both
A collaborative piece with John?
Too soon
Everything needs to be kicked up a notch
I need a beautiful floor rug and beanbag chairs
I need a warm room and quiet upstairs neighbors
I need less dirt, more focus, less wine, more time spent well
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’…

Goals for today:

Think about drawing piece in terms of everyday stuff
That is where it comes from
Big bang moments
Mixed up with everyday
Draw in your journal
Think about your history of sex
Read another story in Animal Shelter
Make a calendar for the next few weeks
Grab hold of that thread of time and tie it to your wrist like a balloon

First Public Performance

Typical Southern Californian winter evening at a brisk 68 degrees. The USC campus is pretty sleepy, except for the students protecting the Tommy Trojan statue from any Bruin invaders. At the Faculty Club in the outdoor plaza, as Economics Professors and Ph.D. students amble in and munch up all the delicious hor' d'oeuvres, this nervous performer sips her wine a wee bit too fast.

It was all Brijesh's idea. A week before the annual Economics Holiday Party he asks, would it be possible to get a piano rolled over? And perhaps, maybe, he could play and I could sing something?

There is something to be understood about Brijesh, he has a way of asking for things that makes you feel like the wheels of fate are already in motion. I have always been a big sucker for fate and submit nearly every time. I found myself a few days later poking around the faculty club looking for the coordinator. Sure, of course, piano's no problem, she said. Just a simple matter of money, which is not a problem, still, at USC.

Thursday, the day before the event, Brijesh informs me that he has reserved a practice space for us at 5 o'clock. Can I dig up some holiday songs, send the titles to him, and he'll give them a listen, fiddle around and see what he can come up with? I send an urgent email out to all the people who's opinions are nuanced and vaguely aligned with my sensibilities. Girlfriends push heavy for Wham's "Last Christmas" and the standard "Baby, it's Cold Outside". Mom gets spiritual. John is quite thorough and spans the genre, even throwing in a few sure to displease suggestions.

For the last few years Brijesh has been playing piano at the Catholic church across the street from campus every Sunday evening. This, he says, serves two purposes. It keeps his hand in and it allows his parents to be a tad more at ease with his lapsed Catholic status. It is not quite accurate to say that Brijesh is an accomplished piano player; he is quite extraordinary, learning many songs by ear and being able to improvise, which comes in handy when you are working with someone like me who drops her notes and is always coming in too early on a song. The device we worked out to mitigate my singing foibles is something I imagine you could employ with any moderately sentient creature. When it was time for me to belt out the first line he simply began singing low and I quickly barreled over his tenor notes in a mad dash to catch up with the song.

Day of the party I am all nerves, but also very aware of how alive the day is. I feel myself moving through space. Everything is purposeful. Singing, and I'd say most creative acts, require a precious mix of emotion, facility, and sixth sense. Essentially one must be able to shut their damnable brain off. Logic and reason trip up the creative process, weighing it down with expectations, frightful visions, and banal prescriptions.

When the time came, and the party had ballooned with the majority of our mild mannered Economists, Brijesh found me. He sat down on the bench, suggested we start with a standard to warm up the crowd. I nodded, pulled my glass of wine close, leaned against the piano, took the mic and a deep breath... A few bars, then his restrained tenor voice prompted me to sing, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light..."

Vitals Nov 14th - Dec 2nd

Confidential Note to John (formerly known as "John T", "John O" and soon to be refered to as "Johnny", just like Glenn Ford was in "Gilda")

Things to consider:

Homemade turkey soup with vegetables and butterfly crackers

A really bad holiday party full of economists with an open bar

Billy Wilder movies

Pedro Almodóvar movies (Particularly "Woman on the Verge..." and "Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!")

Finding that zen place. Ocean waves, parsley sprig askew, Bonaventure elevators...